“If I think you’re just venting, but you want to change my mind, I’m not going to listen to you in the same way (you expect).”• Remember you’re having a face-to-face conversation, not writing a social media post.
“You need to consider how different your offline personality might be from your online personality,” Wilder said. express things as sharply or shortly or even as angrily as you would feel confident to do on social media.”• Set the most ideal venue you can.
“If we’re defensive, all that does is ratchet up the intensity,” he said.• Not every conversation has to involve hot-button issues. Fairbank suggests talking about holiday traditions from your family’s past.Wilder enjoys talking about shows people binge watch. “Even if you don’t watch it, everyone understand the social concepts.” As for Brittle: “My favorite question is ‘Who was your best friend in fourth grade?“If you can learn to manage differences in a way that honors those differences, maybe you’ll learn something and become closer to those relatives.”• Good conversations can be fun.“You can get into some nice philosophical conversations,” said Corrie Wilder, clinical assistant professor for the Edward R.” Is it to simply let them know you’re concerned about an issue or action, or do you want to know more about what’s driving their view on the issue?
Once you know that, make sure those involved in the conversation understand the goal, Brittle said.
“The purpose of conflict is understanding, rather than winning,” Brittle said.• Ask open-ended questions.
Make an effort to get to the heart of that person’s view, Fairbank said.
The dinner table may not be the best choice to call out your uncle for sexist remarks.
Opt for a one-or-one conversation while everyone else is watching football, Fairbank said.
Murrow College of Communication at Washington State University.